The aftermath. Never a pretty picture. Thank god Justins bath robe was stapled to his inner thigh
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Thursday, December 29, 2005
Justin enjoying the fruits of a gasoline induce campfire. God bless us, every one. Jay... thinking about the times when he used to give the waitress at "Hooters" piggy back rides. Well maybe he wasn't thinking at that moment... but you know it's rolling around up there somewhere
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Thom and I "cold lamp'n". That's right I said "cold" instead of "Co-lamp'n". Because it was cold.... not "please kill me cold", but I still wasn't taking off my shirt and getting a tan. My friend Rick sent me a text message on Christmas eve complaining about it being 88 degrees..... I never liked that mother fucker.
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Christmas dinner was at Terri's parents house... Craig and Daryl. You can tell that this was before dinner because none of us were complaining how tight our pants were. In attendance... Barry, Jane, Lauren, Jay, Jamie, Collin, Thom, Kelly, Justin, Terri, Tavin, Sarah, Craig James, Daryl, Craig, Me, Lobo, Courage
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Thom, Kelly, Justin, and Barry... kids table. I think that's about right. You never know when Justin is going to stick a finger in your gravy... that's not code. I mean it literally. One of the best gags I've seen in years is him taking his finger and sticking it in 13's frothy hot chocolate, while saying "That looks good!!" I was rolling with laughter
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Happy Birthday to me... Happy Birthday to me.... Yup. As it turns out I've lasted 30 years on this blue marble. Well... almost... I still have half hour before it's 5:55 PM. Holy shit. What a crazy ass year. New shop. Tons of tattoos. Friends come and gone. Death of old loves... births of new romances. Up's and downs.... and round and rounds. This has been one hell of ride. I can't wait to see whats next.
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Okay... I know I'm slacking on my holiday pics... They're coming. I swear. Oh... and now that's I'm not spoiling any surprises... I got 13 a gift certificate for "The Pampered Chef" and a guitar signed by Jonny Lang... with certificate of authenticity.... and proof picture. It rocked. I smiled for a day straight. I'm so pleased with myself it hurts. I took this picture at the ranch on Christmas day. That cat has guts.
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Saturday, December 24, 2005
My first Christmas present of the year. Gotta love it. Big Daddy K came thru. Of course the first thing I did was etch crosses in the knuckles and "Aequitas" in the handle. That's Latin for "Justice". Nothing more Christmas then steel knuckles. Between that and listening to the Broncos beating the Raiders in the second quarter... Not too bad of a holiday weekend thus far. We're planning on going to the ranch for dinner, and then again for brunch tomorrow. Should be cool. I already have the camera packed. I also have to give 13 her present. I really can't wait. It's one of the best presents I've ever gotten for someone. A little extreme, I'll admit. But fuck it. You only live once... At least that's the saying... not sure I really believe it. Anyways, Merry Christmas to all. I truly hope everyone has nothing but joy and bliss............... TOUCHDOWN!!!!!! 16-0 in the second quarter!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, December 22, 2005
Life is.... amazing once again. The sun has decided to show his face.... about fucking time if you ask me. Yesterday was the winter solstice... and from this point on everything will start getting warmer and lighter. I'm still vampire at heart, but I'd rather be warm in the dark, then on this poor representation of Hoth (Empire Strikes Back). Merry Christmas to my frozen nerve endings.
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Sunday, December 18, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
13.... She wanted stars the other night. You know I had to oblige her. When I asked her how many she said "I don't know." to which I replied "You know we have to do 5. 5 star... top shelf... best rating". They came out really cool. 3rd most nerve racking tattoo of my career. Besides my first ink on Justin, she now holds the 2nd and 3rd positions... followed only by Megan's constellation on her hand, which I believe was my 3rd tattoo ever. I also officially became afraid of 13 at this point. She didn't flinch.... didn't bitch... nothing. I'd glance up at her and all I got was smiles. Which was pretty cool just because while I was actually doing the ink I was in my own little world. I think I talked and smiled but my brain was just mush. She's just one tough customer I guess. Talk about hard-hard-core. Holy Shit.
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Rest in peace Mr. Pryor. He was such a great comedian. I remember watching Silver Streak when I was a kid. In fact I think it was that movie that thought me the word "Bastard". Come to think of it... I got my face slapped for that. Hehehe. But I digress. How cool was Richard Live on the Sunset Strip. If you haven't seen it.... run... don't walk... out and rent it.... then rip it and give copies to all your friends. Thanks for the laughs, Richard.
"Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers."
-Richard Pryor
The other death that caught my eye last night was the execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams. I guess I was really of two minds on the subject. It's easy for me to say "He's a changed man. Killing him would do no good. He's helping people in a way that few can. He was nominated for a Nobel Prize" But then there's the other side... "What if it was my family that was killed? Well then bay all means.... kill that fucker... twice". I know he never admitted guilt in the deaths of those people, which really makes me think. I heard him being quoted as saying #If the price of my innocence is death, then so be it". Well... I guess it was. If you want another good movie to watch... check out the movie Jamie Foxx did about him #Redemption#. Real good flick. Rest In Peace Tookie.
Thank you gentlemen
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WOW. What a crappy couple of days. So I go out to start my car Sunday, and what happens..... BZZZZZZZZZ. My starter goes. It was turning, just not cranking. Ok. Shit. Justin drove me over to Napa and I pick up a new one. So when I get back I discover that my starter is tucked in a space so small I need to be plastic man to get to it. I borrowed Craig J's jacks and got her up in the air. I finally go the old starter off and lightly screwed the new one on. By this time the sun had set and the Broncos were winning. I said fuck it and decided to finish Monday morning. When I got back to it, screwed everything down, and put in a canister of "Heet" into my gas tank.... nothing. I brought Terri's truck over and tried jumping it. Sometimes I'd get enough of a bump to crank it, but it wasn't firing. Hours pass. I fax an electrical diagram of the starter and alternator to my dad... but it just wasn't working. I was thinking that the wires on the starter were crossed because of the unpredictability of the battery. The last thing I did after the sunset was pick up some starting fluid and a quart of oil. FUCK!!!!!! So that's two days down, with no tattoos, and pissed off clients. This am I decided if it didn't work, I was going to have it towed and fixed. luckily Craig J came over and gave me a hand. After some tinkering, a new battery and a little starting fluid, she finally came to life. Diagnoses... faulty ground wire running from the battery.. starter was 100% correct on the wiring. Thank god. I think it's over now. Knock on wood and anything else I can find.
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Monday, December 12, 2005
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Dahkness!!!!!! ...."THE CHAMP IS HERE".... "Finally... E.V.I.L. has com back to Loaded Joes"... trivia night at Loaded Joes is just a blast. Last night was tons of fun. It funny how all of our little senses of humor work with each other. I can't explaine how hilarious is to watch a common theme joke run from on side of the table to the other. My sides hurt from laughing so much. Good way to get back in the land of the living. This is Craig holding up the title belt. Thus far.... three notches.... looking for more. We always shoot for 1st or 3rd. Honestly, I think we gun for third most of the time.
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
OK... clarification time. I've been bum rushed over the last couple days because of my previous post. It's amazing how a couple of honest posts can make people worry about you. First off... I'm fine. There is air in my lungs, food in my stomach, and I have a warm place to sleep tonight. Everything else is just frosting on the cake.
I guess sometimes I forget that someone else might be reading what I post up. Oops. Who Watches The Watchers is just a way for me to put some of myself in a place I can check in on.... well me. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's serious. But the one thing I want it to be most of all is real. If I wanted a little blog where I told everyone how wonderful the world is and post up pictures of kittens, smiley faces, and little non threating jokes , I would have it. But that's not me all the time. Don't misunderstand me. I think this world is awesome. I love life. But I love all facets of it. Ups, Downs, Love, Pain, Black, White. I'm just like everyone else, I'm just dumping myself in a electronic diary. Some of the things I write on here is the shit I can't explain in a face to face with someone. This is for me. Not you.
I want to be able to go back at reread all this, and recall where I was at the time of writing. There's a bunch of people who read this that I love and care about, and I'm thrilled that I can give a glimpse into my world. It's really cool. But even if no one read I'd still post up the same things. I feel I'd be betraying myself if all the sudden I started only portraying the positives in my life, and went back and deleted all the posts where I was expressing some of my fears. I'm reminded of the line in "Naked Lunch".... "To go back and rewrite and edit your thoughts is a betrayal. It's a sin". Has it been kind of a rough week... fuck yeah... So much fucking snow I'm going to be sick, 13 and I cooled down for the last 6 days, money issues, Broncos lost, I might put a guy in the hospital tonight, all the basic shit in life. Budding romance and a snow storm that has lasted longer then I can remember, can put someone in a funk. But I move on. Last night was great. 13 and I watched "True Romance" at the shop. Things come back around. As I look out the window I see nothing but snow... and snow.... and snow blowing sideways.... ugggghhhh...I hate that shit..... but I know one day it will be gone. Green will return to the mountain, my tires will once again have traction, and I'll be able to walk outside without having to wear four layers of clothing. I look at all the things in my life the same way as I see the snow, just because I don't post about it, doesn't mean I'm not aware of the "This Too Shall Pass" concept. I just don't post about it all the time. I hope this helps you out, my dear reader. I'm doing just fine.
Everything's Cool. Love you all!!!!!
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Sunday, December 04, 2005
You know... I hit one of those points where self preservation kicks in and the bullshit in life gets filtered out. I got lucky. I had a couple good tattoos that made my mind focus on nothing but the project at hand. I knew I had a roller coaster ride coming. Damn I hate being right all the time.... yeah sure. I had some people basically ask me if it was worth it... anyone reading this shit knows my stance. I started putting some serious thought to it.. and yeah...I would really dig having one of those perfect world scenarios. It would be great..for a couple months... and then I'd get so board I'd destroy it.. or she would. At least that's my assumption. One way or another. I'm an artist. Not a technician. I find symbolism in everything. I see beauty in the darkest places of the soul, and evil in the happiest places in life. Nothing is ever as it seems. Ever. �This too shall pass� At the best of times and the worst of times. It's all going to go away. I've noticed... I need something to be wrong... or hard... or a little off. But I only want it when I have a pencil in my hand and a fresh sketch book. Pain is a fantastic vehicle which artist use as fuel. As I look over the computer I see a clipping from a news paper. It says �TO BE AVERAGE SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME� -Dick Seeger. That sums a bunch of it up. Perceived
fear... drives emotional fear... which transforms into physical fear... and it perpetuates and spirals and rises and falls. The roller coaster. Shear terror and pleasure mixed into the basic life. And somewhere in there a piece of art is created which most will not understand... and fewer will care about. I can't believe today was a good day.
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Did you ever have one of those days.... when.... maybe... just maybe... being alone would feel better than being in a relationship. It's just crazy. It's never the big things that pile up on you. Well... sometimes it is I guess, but not for me. Not tonight. 13 and I have been doing this little dance for a couple weeks now. Specifics are really unimportant, just know that it sucks... sometimes. I had been almost resigned to the fact that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I was comfortable with it. Did it hurt to think about... oh fuck yeah. But I took comfort in the thought that I had once felt love. It was the greatest feeling in the world... while it lasted. I always told myself "Yeah. You're going to be alone from here on in. Some people end up alone. It's the way the world spins. Hell, at least you knew it once. Some people never get that. You selfish prick. Be happy with what you got. loneliness is a feeling. You'll get over it."
That was my thought process. And I guess it still is to some degree. And it wasn't like I gave up trying. I was always flirting, hitting on, or just plain putting my heart on the line. 99% of the time I was met with rejection... sometimes my heart was returned to me in what could only be described as hamburger. But I picked it up.... processed my grief... and moved on. A little more slowly. A little more wary. A little colder. A little Harder. So when this thing with 13 started... I was of course expecting the worst. "You know how this ends. Pain is inevitable. Anger. Fear. No good can come of this."
I hate my fucking mind sometimes. Spinning and spinning and spinning. But for a time... I was able to push it all down. "Maybe this will work. Why not? Even a broken clock has the right time two times during the day. Certainly if a ball is pitched at you enough times, you'll have to hit a home run eventually. Right?" I can honestly say... at this moment.... I don't even want to play the game. Love can heal... and it can kill. You know, it's amazing. This world has taught me that not only does this moment exist.... but it exists throughout life. I wrote before about all the "bullshit" being worth it for those few, brief moments in life where heaven on earth is a reality.... and I still believe it. I'm fully aware that this feeling could go away with a kiss, hug, phone call letter... and this whole thing is just me feeling sorry for myself. I know this. It is a certainty. But yet.... it doesn't take away where my head and heart are right now.
And of course by right now I mean sitting in a tattoo shop at 1:54 AM. I guess I just need to get this shit out. Justin said I should just post my mind for a stronger mental health. I hope it works. I told 13 the other night, that sometimes I just want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her "Run. Get away from me as fast as you can. I'm fucked up in the head. I cause nothing but pain. You're not strong enough to handle me. Run." I'm starting to think she took it to heart..... Urrrghhhhh. Like I said.... just me sitting my own shit. I actually look back at what I've written and it makes me cringe. Fuck it. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I do have hope. It's been great deal bigger in the past few weeks, but I figure if I can keep one tiny flame away from the cold wind.... then maybe..... just maybe.....someday.....
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