So....last night was the debut of Justice Radio broadcasting from our tattoo shop. During the broadcast I worked on Kaeli and Justin worked on Kaufman. Hence my earphones. What you don't see just out of the shot is a microphone dangling just above my station. I was a great night fueled by Rockstar energy drink, music, beauty & art. Those who witnessed history included Thom, Justin, Craig, Kaufman, John, Alyssa, Mini gut, Da Wizard, me and of course my right hand Kaeli.

Side note..... that motorcycle helmet over my right shoulder.... with �serenity� written in Chinese..... and Revelation 6:8 on the lower part..... oh hell yeah. I got my baby back. Angel, my Katana, is once again running like a bat out of hell

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Beergut & Double D going live from EVIL. So awesome
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Nice night for broadcast'n
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Craig playing should I stay or should I go
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Justin putting a hurt on Kaufman
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Big Daddy K
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I think I need a monitor like this.....course it might just be compensation for something....hmmmmm
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Justin checking out the setup
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Me helping Mini Gut.... umm... try new things
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Da Beergut.... Mini Gut clicked this one
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My Special K
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Go to http://justiceradio.net ...... EVIL will be live @ 10:30 MST
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Tara..... beautiful as alwayz. God I miss her
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Elizabeth Page..... Beautiful...... Great job Coralyn. Awesome
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Ok..... Somebody get me fucking Mulder & Scully on the phone. I've got ghosts. Not the real ones.... at least those aren't the ones I'm talking about now. No.... there are the ghosts from my past. They're all coming out of the woodwork in the same week. Coralyn, Jeremy, Nicholette. I'll be telling the stories soon..... let me just say now.... Hole-Lee Shit
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When you can't run, crawl. When you can't crawl, find someone to carry you
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Holden: "You know that song, 'If a body catch a body comin' through the rye'?..."
Phoebe: "It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!... It's a poem. By Robert Burns."
~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 22


"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be." ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 22, spoken by the character Holden Caulfield


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Somedayz..... life is just plain awesome. I had one yesterday.... 3 out of 5 of the top people in my life...all at the shop at the same time. Thank you, On High =)
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Well... as it turns out I'm still fucking crazy. It's one of the strangest feelings I've ever known. I was fucking spinning.... and I mean spinning for the last couple days. I got back from Vegas... and everything was just wrong. I don't know what the hell happened. I remember feeling that tension build up... and it was only realived at two points. One right before I left and once just before I came back. Both instances were due to contact with people who are very close to me.... but I digress. So I'm driving down the road.... 16 different thoughts running thru my head all at once. Something had been said... or done.... and I just got madder, and madder. Now without going into details... I found my old friends: rage jealously, torment and pain.... right back in front of my face. All staring at me like I owe em money. And it was over nothing.... or at least I know it was now.... come to think of it I knew then. I actually stopped myself..... took a jump outside of the situation.... and came back to the conclusion that I'm fucking crazy. My logic doesn't make any sense sometimes. I couldn't control it. I think god that no body was around. I mean it scared the hell out of me.... and of course what was the can of gasoline that I, somewhere deep down, decided to throw on the fire..... "If you're this fucked up... how in the hell can you possibly have a woman in your life who could love you? You can't. If you truly love someone, how could you put them through living with you". Talk about kicking yourself when your down. I'm fucked up. Of course, it's at those moments when I step back... look at myself... and just scream.... "what the fuck are you doing?!?!?!" And then the other half of me answers "Speaking the truth.... shut the fuck up!" Then... just do really spin myself... I'll think about the women in my life..... all of them.... truly extraordinary. Amazing. I'm watching all of them grow in such ways... I can only call them inspiring. All of them are at different stages in life.
One... a new mother.... strong yet fragile.... pure poetry defined. I never felt lost and found at the same time until I nearly collapsed in her arms. Laughter that explains the question "why am I here".... and a smile that makes the Las Vegas strip seem dark and mournful. Another.... a sister..... If beauty was personified it would bare her name.... The only one where a romantic relationship was never an option... and I've never been happier about it. She's found her wings... and she's soaring high. I couldn't be more proud. Yet another.... our branches grew together for a moment.... brief and amazing. Up's and down's as big at the mountains that house us... but now... friends... confidants. Her head spins like mine... but she's much stronger. I believe in her and know that where ever she decides to grow.... she will succeed. The last.... new.... fresh.... open and loving. A soul that a cold world hasn't broken. A breath of river air. Struggling like a newborn trying to find the muscles that will one day carry it into the unknown. Quick to give love... without question.
And it's these women.... who I love.... who are my inspiration.... my muse.... my reason to trudge thru the hard days.... and push myself harder then I ever had.... who I go to bed with and wake up to.... It's these women that I just want to scream to "Get away from me! I'm fucking crazy! Run! Don't think! Run!" It's like somewhere in me I know I'd do anything for them. I mean mama could call me right now.... 2 AM... and say "I need you here".... and I'd be there in the morning. I'd take a bullet for sister. I give one for my confidant. But I don't want them to be close enough for me to be able to hurt them. How fucked is that? "I want to protect you from everything... including me" God.... I'm fucking nuts.... and I'm not sure how to work thru it. I thought I was past this shit...... fuck. Guess that was just wishful thinking. Maybe tomorrow will be different.

Sleep easy my beautiful angels of mercy..... Watcher is watching....... always

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So this is me kicking looking out over a beach in San Diego.... Love the ocean. So the trip was fun. I got to see a bunch of my friends... I helped Dad and Granny move.... did a few honey-do's for T plus saw some video of da new baby... Saw one of my buddies take 6 years soberity chip.... Saw my grandfather in San Diego.... Hooked up with Rick & Kevin.... trucked around in a convertable.... and all that jazz
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I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack. Pics, stories, and introspection soon to come
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