Now it the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
-Richard III (Shakespeare)

Well... As I mentioned before.... 13 and I are no longer... ummm... dating... or seeing each other... or what ever in the hell we were doing... we're not doing it anymore. The night I got back from Vegas I met her at Loaded Joes and we "talked". Well she talked mostly.... I shook a lot. She informed me she had met someone else and was going to go out on a date with him. Uggghhhhhh. By gods grace I'll never see them together... I can't imagine the hurt I'd put on him... and I really don't want to go back to that part of my life. I haven't been there since I got sober.... but I know that side of me is just lingering under the surface of my soul begging to get out. You know I waited awhile to write about this because I didn't want to let my blind rage get in the way. I guess it just hurts now... and I really miss having my friend around. Nothing like walking around trying to carry on life as usual when you can't get out of your own head. I'm just waking up in the morning and trying to keep breathing thru the day. It sounds simple but It's all I can't do now. I know that wounds heal, but nothing happens in the time when I want it. Faith is a necessity. I talk about it more when my heads in the game.... tonight I'm just done.

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