So I stopped by Walmart on the way home tonight. I needed laundry detergent and pre-made chocolate chip cookies. Sorry dad. Cookies go great with making fun of Smallville. Anyways... Walmart is like the fucking social hub of this damn town. (Arrrrrrghhhh... Vegas soon... Vegas soon... Vegas soon) I ran into one girl I went to high school with. Same story I've been hearing. Married, divorced, kid... Alcohol class... Domestic violence class. She told me she ran into a guy that used to go to high school us. Real scum bag... goes without saying. So I guess he told her that he thinks I'm a cop. I haven't seen this dumbass in 13 years... haven't thought about him in 12... and he thinks I'm a cop?!?!? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.. She bumped into him at a Greatful Dead tribute band concert. What a dumb fuck. Oh yeah, and drugs don't make you paranoid. Anyways, enough of that shit. The real reason I felt like writing is because when I went to check out I ended up standing behind my former neighbor. I had a huge crush on her back in the day. I mean huge. Inspire you to create art kind of crush. We hung out for a summer one year. Things didn't go well, which is usually the case with artists. (that's my excuse and I'm sticking too it) Long story short, the last time I saw her I was bouncing at Nicks and pretty drunk if I recall. I might have seen her coming out of a bank once but nothing note worthy. Anyways, I was standing behind her and her (boyfriend?) and I froze. She looked at me I looked at her... and nothing. I was thinking about how bad I wanted her back then. How I give anything to be with her. She was an artist (better then me) beautiful (model) funny. All that shit. I starting thinking about how much of my life would different if things went my way. Holy shit. Thank god sometimes the answer is no. Crazy what a little time and perspective can do. Of course then I started thinking about my life today. Situations today. Okay I understand that sometimes unanswered prayers are the greatest gift in life, but for fucks sake. Doesn't the answer sometimes have to be yes. How would we know joy without pain. Light without dark. I just want the other shoe to drop... soon. You know.. I figure if I bump into her again I'll ask her if she's still doing her art, and talk her into doing some flash for the shop. Or I'll just chicken out again. "I'm nothing but a coward, baby" (-pwei) What a fucking day. At least Smallville was funny... or more precisely Justin, Craig, and Tommy Boy were funny.
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